


blank

by badalive



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Bad Ending, M/M, Not Happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-25
Updated: 2020-10-25
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:15:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27184372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/badalive/pseuds/badalive
Summary: yeah
Relationships: Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung/Suh Youngho | Johnny
Kudos: 10





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Life is not fair. 

It never ends up in your favour at the end. 

Doyoung knew that perfectly. 

He remembers the lingering touches, the late night conversations under the stars. He remembers the warmth that would bubble up in his stomach whenever he was with him. He can still picture the radiant smile that would always be aimed at him, and no one else. 

He was a fool to think that it would last forever. 

And he is a fool now. 

He’s staring at him, eyes dull and sunken from just how tired he was. He hasn’t had a proper sleep schedule in forever, not since he walked out the very door that separates them now. 

He’s cold, shaking from the chills running up and down his entire body. At the back of his mind, a small voice tells him that  _ this is a mistake _ . He shouldn’t be here. He shouldn’t have come back. 

The other man is staring down at him, expectant. But how can Doyoung bring himself to say anything when he didn’t even know why he brought himself here in the first place? Hell, why did he even get out of bed today? 

No words are spoken between them, but Doyoung still feels tears rush out. The heat burns against his cold skin, and he’s embarrassed to be crying just from the other’s mere presence. He stands there, small and shivering, dripping tears onto the pavement below him. They splatter randomly, leaving wet sounds behind. 

He feels another rush of wind against his body and that’s when he caves inwards. He curls up against himself and squeezes his eyes shut. He knows it’s a pathetic sight, he knows he’s pathetic, but he couldn’t help it. He couldn’t help but to break down right in front of him. 

His façade cracks, bits falling off to reveal what truly had become of Doyoung. He’s a filthy liar, a liar about being fine, a liar about being  _ happy.  _ He was never happy, but in his presence he can still feel that now bittersweet feeling of warmth. 

It’s obvious that the other man is doing fine. Hell, he  _ looks  _ like he’s doing great. He’s wearing clothing that he had never worn when he was with Doyoung, and it seems nearly insulting to the younger. He’s just as silent as Doyoung, the chatter from the television being the only noise coming from his side. 

His chest hurts. He can’t breathe. He’s sobbing too hard. 

Pathetic! 

The warm touches, those beautiful, lively eyes, the aura of a gentle giant… He feels disgusted. He was living in Oz, thinking that everything was going to be perfect after a simple conversation. A fool, that’s what he is. Stupid. 

He knows he’s at fault for things ever getting to be so unwelcoming between them, but he still holds a strong love towards the other. He knows he shouldn’t, and he knows that the other most definitely doesn’t feel the same, but he’s pathetic and he wants to trick himself into thinking that everything is  _ fine.  _

Everything is not fine. 

The mask Doyoung wore — the mask of lies — slips off, hitting the pavement and shattering into tiny, tiny pieces. He’s still trembling, trying to keep himself upright and using all his might to not collapse into a sad pile on the ground. 

There’s a sigh and then the door shuts, leaving Doyoung in the darkness. 

Alone once again. And forever. 


End file.
